Porn is love you can see.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
