Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
