OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
