He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
