no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Even my vagina gasped.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
