no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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