Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i think i just lost a toe
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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