Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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