is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize