Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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