There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
