is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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