is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
