The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
