i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
