I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
