He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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