Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
