We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
