5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
