I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
