now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
