were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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