what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
