I'm jealous of your bromance
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
