is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
