i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
