i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
