that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
