she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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