Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
