Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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