I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
