I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
