bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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