She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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