I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
