he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize