Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
