Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize