She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
