singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
In America we eat man semen.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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