Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
