No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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