Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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