DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
