is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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