Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's always time for handjobs
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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