Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
