we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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