he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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