dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
