my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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