If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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