the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
whose parrot is this?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
