Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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