I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
