I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
