I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
