Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
