Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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