I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
