If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
