I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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