This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
