Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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