The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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