I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
