Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
