Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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