i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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