So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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