I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
