I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
