spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
