apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
