That's intense
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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