You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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